Have you ever paid attention to the little voice inside of you? The one that might remind you of your younger self? No matter how old we grow, we carry our younger selves within us day-to-day. Perhaps our hurt 5-year-old self shows up when our best friend doesn't answer our phone call, or our misunderstood 15-year-old self comes out when a colleague doesn't see eye to eye. Caring for this younger version of ourselves is what inner child work is all about.
Here are three quick self-soothing tips to connect with your Inner Child that's seeking your attention.
Tip #1 - Engage With Your Inner Child
Acknowledging your inner child is the first step to healing and that it is “a process of self-discovery.”
Mindfully embrace the inner child with self-compassion. Mindfulness is simply being present and in tune with yourself. Sit with the inner child. Avoid judging your thoughts, but instead observe them objectively and thank them for existing. Allow them to have their space. Your inner child repressed things because it was afraid to take up space. It’s time to express that pain. It’s time to reclaim your childhood. It’s time to start again.
Tip #2 - Reparent Your Inner Child
Notice then nurture the inner child. For example, try this memory exercise: Note how you handled life recently such as unhealthy ways or negative thoughts. Think of some events. What self-protection strategies can you observe in your behavior? Connect these to what beliefs you developed in childhood which influence those.
Notice it to change it. Figure out which negative belief stems from conditioning and childhood programming. Reshape reality through your inner adult.
Combat negative thoughts such as “I don’t deserve love because my parents didn’t show me it” with “I was just a child who deserved love and safety and still do.”
This is how you start to reparent yourself.
"To strengthen your inner adult by having it challenge childhood beliefs from neglect or abuse. " - Dr. Stephanie Stahl
Another great way of reparenting is to write a letter to your inner child. It’s important to create a dialogue that is welcoming and warm. Show compassionate attention to yourself.
Here are prompts to get you started when addressing your inner child. Ask yourself,
What are some things you wanted a trusted adult to tell you at that age?
What is something kind you can say about yourself?
How can you forgive yourself for not knowing then what you know now?
How can you release the shame of what you’ve been through?
Give it a try and see what comes up.
Tip #3 - Release Oxytocin
Oxytocin is a hormone that is released when you feel love and safety. Its benefits are stress relief, improved immunity, sleep, relaxation and positive thinking. When a child is neglected by a caregiver, it may prohibit the release of oxytocin among other hormones such as dopamine.
"Oxytocin also is released directly into the brain, where it has been shown to play a critical role in attachment bond formation. " - PNAS Study
You can release oxytocin as an adult and cope with your inner child in the following ways:
Massage by yourself or someone else. For self massage- See this tutorial by Gentle Whispering ASMR for how to do so!
Yoga—This lowers blood pressure and reduces stress.
Bath—Soak yourself in warm water and bubbles and let your thoughts drift away.
Weighted Blanket—It will feel like a hug!
Listen to or make music—Create a self-care playlist.
Meditation—A great meditation you can do is Inner Child Healing Meditation on Youtube by Relax for a While.
Foster Connection—A support system and social activity will help you heal.
Intimacy—Hug, cuddles or sex or anything where you express physical closeness with someone.
Pet animals—There’s a reason there are emotional support pets. Even if you don’t get one, you can still enjoy the presence of an animal.
Looking for a little more guidance?
Attend our FREE Inner-Child Healing Master Class on December 14th.
Become the Adult you have always DREAMED of being.
The Masterclass will be recorded with accessed to be viewed at a later time. Register
Also, take the Inner-Child QUIZ to start reconnecting with your little boy or girl.
Give him/her the attention it seeks and watch your life blossom in all sectors of your life. Your inner-child knows all your SECRETS and holds the key to your painful subconscious that's not allowing you to live your WILDEST DREAMS.
Find out If your Inner-Child Needs to:
Be SEEN and validated
PLAY more often
GRIEVE
Feel SAFE
Feel more MAGIC
Be NURTURED
To SLOW DOWN
Which action do you think your Inner-Child needs? Find out QUIZ.
Healing isn't an overnight thing.
It’s human to sometimes have to revisit certain issues. You can focus on it bits at a time. You don’t have to solve all your childhood trauma in one sitting. But your inner child will thank you for finally letting it come to the light.